Where the fuck do I start with this? I miss you, and I have missed you, and I will miss you for the rest of my life. I have a picture of our first ever meeting, all those years ago now, up on my bookshelf, and I look at it every day. You were my first kiss, you were I think the first person who showed me that love didn't have to hurt. If I could have gouged my heart out and absorbed all your pain into it, I would have in an instant.

I'm not one for clichés. You knew this. But nothing is more fitting than to say you truly did shine brighter than the stars. I...don't think I can say much more than that right now. It will probably take a long time before I'll be ready to. But I had to say something.

I found out in a lecture. That night, finally in the sanctity and privacy of my own room, I cried. Sobbed for the first time in a very long time. You were too young, far too fucking young. You've spent the last few years since your diagnosis making a point to live life to it's fullest, and to enjoy every moment, and I'm so fucking proud of you for that. I've always been proud of you. I hope you knew that. I think you did.

I love you. I miss you, now and forever. Goodnight, my darling. Rest well.