and sometimes, it goes like this:
you are tired, and you have been tired for a very long time, and you will continue to be tired for longer than you can possibly imagine.

and your hair is thinning and your back is hurting and you find yourself having to slow down.
and your reactions aren't what they used to be and you find that maybe you don't quite mind anymore.

and so you leave and it's terrifying because this is all you've ever known; you think perhaps it's all you ever will know.

and, well, throughout all of this,
he will follow you.

he will wander into your life one day with his cold hands and his green eyes with a ring of brown in them, and he will never leave again.

he will cement himself in your heart, and when you can't bring yourself to continue, he will continue for you.
he will keep fighting in the way you taught him how to, and he will take and take until he has nothing left to fight for.

and his hair will start thinning
and his back will start hurting
and maybe, just maybe, he will join you in leaving.
he will be terrified because it is all he's ever known, perhaps it's all he ever will know.

but you will be there, and you will hold him as he cries and you will brush his hair away from his face when you watch the sunset together.

and you are both just a little less terrified because how can it be all you've ever known when you know each other?

and sometimes, it goes like this:
you are awake, and you are alive, but your body does not work in the way it used to, and it will continue to decline, continue to become unfamiliar.

and your hair is thinning and your back is hurting and you find yourself having to slow down.
and your reactions aren't what they used to be and you mind, you mind so much.

and yet, you leave. and it's terrifying because this is all you've ever known; you know in your heart it's all you ever will know.

and, well, throughout all of this,
he will follow you.

he will burst into your life one day with his hero-worship and his undeniable bravery (stupidity), and he will never leave again.

he will cement himself in your heart, and then he will tear it from you (you tore it from him first, don't you remember?). and when you can't bring yourself to continue, he will in spite of you. he will keep fighting in the way you taught him how to (the way you then spurned him for. don't you remember?), and he will take and take until he has nothing left to fight for.

and his scars will multiply
and his arm won't stop hurting
and maybe, just maybe, he might join you in leaving.
he will be terrified because it is all he's ever known, perhaps it's all he ever will know.
(he used to know you. he does not anymore. you made sure of that. don't you remember?)

but maybe, you will reconnect.
perhaps, time will soften you both.
allow ancient wounds to close
and fond memories to resurface.

maybe, you will both realise once more:
what is the point in being terrified?
how can it be all you've ever known when you know each other?